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| SCREAMS |
| 04.29.04 (3:32 pm) [edit] |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
... I AM GONIG TO SCREAM I HATE GIRLS THEY ARE MEAN AND I AM GONIG TO CRY AND WELL IF OYU WANT TO SEE THE DEPRESSED BORKEN ME GO TO MY LIVE JOURNAL IF OYU WANT THE ANGRY PISSED OFF ONE MY XANGA ...
MEGAN
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| IMPORTANT!!!! |
| 04.28.04 (6:31 pm) [edit] |
I THINK THAT I SKREWED UP RELY BAD CRAP I HAVE A BAD FEELING ... AND WELL IT IS NOT GOOD WHEN I GET THIS TYPE OF FEELING ... IT USUALY MEANS THAT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN GOD AND USUALY THE BAD THING MAKES ME CRY AND I HAVE A BREAK DOWN WEHER I WANT TO GO BACK SOOO BAD AND USUALY I DON'T BUT THERE HAVE BEEN ACCEPTIONS AND I AM BEING VAGUE FOR A REASON ... BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO TALK ABOUT ... BUT YEAH
MEGAN :cry: :(
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| my wretchid little rant |
| 04.28.04 (2:53 pm) [edit] |
... hey everyone ... and how are you ... i am a little bored ... no one is on the internet now ... tear lol so let me see um kayla ... looks rely small right now meaning that she looks rely shallow and stupid ... because she fuckin lied to me ... god she must have thought that i am rely stupid ... very stupid oy so ... you know me i am just going to go fly away on my magic carpet ... lol but before i go how about i put in some lyrics
Away, I see it's going down
Today, Hoping in time,
Will bury all this pain
And will awake something inside
We pushed our buttons far inside
We tear our hearts out
then we fight
Hey, I know feels like I lost everything
That I've known, I cannot survive alone
It feels like I lost everything that I've known
Our lives, were good in everyway
Too late, time after time
Our love just turned to hate
but we stayed by each others side
We pushed our buttons far inside
We tear our hearts out
then we fight
Hey, I know feels like I lost everything
That I've known, I cannot survive alone
It feels like I lost everything that I've known
I keep holding on, I feel I'm where I belong
Everytime time we fight, it feels so wrong
I feel so enslaved fuck my pride
Then we meet again
We pushed our buttons far inside
We tear our hearts out
then we fight
Hey, I know feels like I lost everything
That I've known, I cannot survive alone
It feels like I lost everything that I've known
just so you know KoRn lyrics ... ya know i am a korn freak ... but if you didn't then now ya do ...
megan
:evil: :twisted: :x :!:
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| blah |
| 04.27.04 (7:55 pm) [edit] |
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:twisted: ... ok how is every one ... battle of the bands kicked ass ... lol fun so yeah .... love you ... not much time to update lol but ya know
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| eeek HELP ME PLEASE |
| 04.25.04 (7:55 pm) [edit] |
ok ... here is the just i think this guy that my friend likes is falling for me ... um talk about scary any one have any propositions as to what i should do i would love to know ... i don't know weather or not this is true ... but i know that if it is than it will hurt my friend so much ... god this is "scary" ... i don't rely know ... but and i hope i don't fuck up like i usualy do ... eek that would not be good i mean he is cool and all ... but i probaly would not date him ... he is just the type of person that i would be friends with ... like i said i hope i don't fuck up ... that would be "horrid" i feel like crying or writting a poem ... or my usual old ways ... no slaps self not that i will write a poem ... ok that is what i will do ... :cry:
megan
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| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
| 04.25.04 (2:37 pm) [edit] |
... OK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH SCARED ... SO I WILL TELL YOU THE STORY OF MY ADVENTURE TO THE MALL YESTERDAY ... TALKING TO JEN ... AND SHE ASKS IF I CAN GO TO THE MOVIES ... I ASK THE PARENTS AND THEY SAY YES BUT I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT ... EEK GOOD THING I HAD SOME $$$ ... SO JENS PARENTS COME TO PICK ME UP ... SO FUN AND WE GET TO THE MALL BUY OUR TICKETS AND WE ARE ALL HAPPY WALKING TOWARD HOT TOPIC ... THAT WAS A BAD BAD BAD IDEA ... SUDDENLY JEN LOOKS BACK ... AND SHE SPOTS OUR FAVORITE PERSON MISS BAD DYE JOB ... AND WE SCATTER INTO HOT TOPIC ... AND SHE POINTS TOWARD US ... SO WE ARE IN HOT TOPIC ... AND WELL SHE COMES IN ... JUST GREAT AND WELL I HALL ASS OUT OF HOT TOPIC ... AND JEN IS NOT FAR BEHIND AND WE GO TO THE STORE NEXT TO HOT TOPIC AND SIT THERE SAYING WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO NOW AND SO WE WAIT A FEW MINUTES AND WE ARE LEAVING THAT STORE AND WELL WE CHOSE A BAD TIME TO LEAVE THAT STORE BECAUSE WELL THEY WERE FALLOWING US AND THEY CAME BY WHEN WE WERE LEAVING THE PLACE ... AND SO I HEAR THERE SHE IS ... I DON'T KNOW WEATHER OR NOT SHE WAS TALKING TO ME OR JEN ... BUT I HAD TO HOLD JEN BACK ... TO SAY THE LEAST AND WELL JEN AND I WERE PISSED AND FED UP SO WE WENT T O THE MOVIE AND WERE PARANOID ABOUT THE WHOLE THING ... AND THAT WAS MY DAY YESTERDAY ...
... lol
today i almost got fired ... but i retained my job ... wahoo so yeah that is good got to yell at my dad that was fun ... and well yeah
:twisted: :cry:
megan
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| .... |
| 04.24.04 (5:45 pm) [edit] |
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... i am sleepy ... and i am listening to jimmy eat world ... and some other stuff ... so how is everyone ...my b-day is ni about 13 days ... happy very early b-day to me i guess ... i guess one of my friends is not my friend anymore my goal complete ... i needed to get away ... i just didn't know that i would feel so bad i feel guilty ... i don't like it at all i shouldn't feel guilty ... but i do she treated me like crap for 14 out of 15 years like i was under her and i always catered to her it wasn't fair and i should have gotten away but every time i tried to she sucked me back in some how and
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| .... |
| 04.23.04 (4:01 pm) [edit] |
i will be gone tonight ... i am once again going to ash k's house ... to talk about you yes you not some other guy you ... lol
meg
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| ...ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ |
| 04.21.04 (4:50 pm) [edit] |
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz
sleepy ... sum 41 in my ears ... there is nothing wrong ... promise ... i am just rely sleepy... and yeah um what news did i have today ... i don't remember ... sleep deprivation is mean ... i am soooooooo sleepy i just feel like crawling under a rock and sleeping ..... so um today i will give yuo lyrics because i am too tired to get a poem of mine ...
:cry: :D :) :( :o :shock: :? 8) :lol: :x :P :oops: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow:
lol because i can ...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
brought to you by jimmy eat world ...
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| rejection |
| 04.20.04 (7:27 pm) [edit] |
Fact of life they all say
I have felt too much
My heart can take no more
A blade in one hand
My other wrist over the sink
Don’t says my soul
You see many cuts
Some old some recent
My bad it just slipped
A ghoul flies over my cold body
Bye Meg
Ran out of hope…life
What is one less life to our over crowded world
One less person wouldn’t make a difference
One less person that no one cares about
Everyone is happy right
That was all I ever wanted
My pitiful goals complete
People always told me
She’s to chicken to commit suicide
Guess what you were wrong
No one understands
Muttered under my breath
I am gonna do it
I am gonna do it
I am gonna do it
I am gonna commit suicide
To night
It is all planed out
No mistakes
Correcting the mistake of my life…
There is no point
Why not just end the circles
Running around like a lost dog
Always going in circles when you wanna go in stars
Always being sad when everyone tells you to be happy
I can’t help but be unhappy
Why can’t you understand?
What I am going through
You say everyone has a f*&$%d up life
Well mine is no acceptation
Mine is more
I am sry but this is the way it must be
I am sry but I must leave this earth
I must exterminate myself
Please forgive me
Please forgive me
Please forgive me
Suicide is not selfish
If only you would bother to see
You r the ones that brought me to this
You could have acknowledged us
But you chose not to
Why is that
Thoughts of how could someone care fro something this ugly
Exactly no one truly can
Muttered under your voice
She is so fat ugly disgusting gay ECT…
Well I am 3 out of 4 and more
No hope
“You never know it could get better”
“No it never will people have already scared my soul”
My emotions run every witch way
Scars all over my body
People refuse to see
More pain less screaming
No more tears
Don’t bother to numb my arm
More pain
Less screaming
um ... explain myself you say ok ...well i was up at a music camp ... and well we were at sac out where you sit in one place for an hour ... and well i found a saftey pin and i cut myself ... and then i wrote a poem about how i felt and i came up with this ... now if oyu don't think my life is f****** up well then you didn't read ... lol but i am umm better now ...
megan
:)
:D
:(
:o
:shock:
:?
8)
:lol:
:x
:P
:oops:
:cry:
:evil:
:twisted:
:roll:
:wink:
:!:
:?:
:idea:
:arrow:
... because i can
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| have you |
| 04.18.04 (8:05 pm) [edit] |
Told your mom you love her
Told your dad he is your hero
Told your best friend she means the world to you
These words are often not heard
And some of the most beautiful people I know don’t hear them at all
They tell me things
Bad things
They tell me of their plots
Bad plots
They tell me they want to commit suicide
And then I ask why
They tell me because life is not worth it to me anymore
You have no idea
How much it hurts
To find out
That your friend tried to kill them self
You have no idea
How much your words hurt
How much they effect
The ones you say are weird
The ones that is a little different
The one in the back corner
You see them every day
And at the same time you see
You don’t care at all
They know it
You know it
It is sad
How you effect when they say you don’t
How much pain is in their eyes?
If you live a god dammed day in their fucking shoes
You would know
And it would all make sense
You see a young girl
Crying to herself usually strong
Whimpering in pain
And you make the choice to cause her more pain
To make fun of her
To be the sadist in the picture
To go against the human thing to do
And cause her to loose all hope
Not fair you say
Not my fault you say
Who are you to say that to me?
I have lived it
Have you
You say no then that is my reason
To many people deal with the tough issues
Suicide
Alcohol
Drugs
And that is just the beginning
You don’t know any of us
You chose to ignore us
You chose to make it your responsibility
You chose to torture us
Prod us and make us feel more like the dirt under your feet
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| ........(haha) |
| 04.17.04 (1:20 pm) [edit] |
:twisted: ... i am back ok i wasn't rely gone but yeah so ... lets fill everyone in
1 my pe teacher is an asshole (what else is new)
2 i have A,A,A,D,A,A as my report card wow
3 i have a 4 day weekend ... party ...
4 i feel like crap (what else is new)
5 me and ash talked about boys last night (what else is new)
6cypress hill is on i think i spelt that right
whats your name whats you number
i would like to get to know you
can we have a conversation
the night is young girl give it a chance)
7 i am getting better and if you think oyu figured out what is wrong then go ahead and guess i dare you
...
love you all
ok some of you
of a few of you
ok you know who you are
megan :twisted:
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| lust |
| 04.14.04 (5:04 pm) [edit] |
i wander through the forest
the forest of my thoughts
my steps are slient
barely break the ground
i see your smiling face
as i strat to turn away
you grab my shoulder
and trun me
i forgot the smell
the smell of your claogne
i tried to forget the past
the past when you and me were one
we were two children
two children in lust
you said to me
i am not the rest
i will never raise my hand at you
i will never treat you as lower than me
i guess you were wrong
i cry to my self wishing you were gone
i said i never wanted to see you again
but no matter the distance you found
you found me in my dreams
to say that i hate you
would be an understatement
for god sake you beat me
as if i were lower
i cried about you
this close to ending it all
and then something changed
i gave up on you
because you gave up on me
you call me a whore
and it hurt me so
yet you find me in my dreams
i try to turn away
you grab my shoulder
and turn me to you
i try to scream
and nothing comes out
we cling to each other
two children in lust
but something changed
i gave up on you
because you gave up on me
i turn away from you
my foot steps barely break the ground
i wander throung my thoughts
as if they are a forest
:cry:
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| .... |
| 04.13.04 (7:52 pm) [edit] |
i feel ... i feel ... i feel um ... pain :? ... ouch so i saw something bad last night and no it was not porn or anything like that lets just say that a guy that i don't rely know pulled a me and then put pictures on the FU**IN* internet ... i am ok i get late arrival tomorrow yay ... sleep i actualy get to sleep ... yaya :D overjoyous
megan
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| this song describes everything to me right now ... THREE DAYS GRACE |
| 04.09.04 (6:14 pm) [edit] |
"Just Like You"
I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you
I could be fake
I could be stupid
You know I could be just like you
You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
I could be cold
I could be ruthless
You know I could be just like you
I could be weak
I could be senseless
You know I could be just like you
You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
On my own, cause I can’t take liven with you
I’m alone, so I won’t turn out like you
Want me to
You thought you were standing beside me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You’re wrong if you think that I’ll be just like you
I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you
this song is so true to me right now i just want to be left alone and to hide under a rock but i can't so i listen to this song i just want people to shut their FUCKING mouths because they are th e ones who chose to not get to know me and i am sick of the judging me so i am just going to say to whom ever is like the person that i just described you don't think your words hurt until they are about you remember that
megan :cry:
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| you are trying to speak to me i just don't understand |
| 04.06.04 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
warning some of the people in this site might get offended by what i am about to say and to that all i say is FUCK YOU ... ok so let me start from the begining or some where around there... ok so i was apparently more morbid than usual ... but i made this one girl afraid of me and she says that i looked like if you were to mess with me that i would kill them ... we have been through this before ... just not with this journal thing ... but yeah i wouldn't kill any one unlesds they provoked me ... now bite off their heads is another story but that is off the subject ...but yeah since then ie the begining of the year i have she has been a bitch to me and just about everyone i know ... anger and i haven't done anything about it that is quite out of my nautre ... and i am sitting here wtf am i doing ... so yeah me and one of my friends are most likely going to do something stupid ... so yeah that is about it ... and um yeah this "friend" is rely pissing me off ...
megan :twisted:
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| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
| 04.05.04 (6:23 pm) [edit] |
ok you are problay wondering why the subject ... i have a very good reason and it goes something like this ... i cannot feel my chest i have been screaming way to much i have good reason to be screaming ... ok here is the story the past and what happened today ahhhhh ok it was in my last year at lb gay .... and i was in an orchestra program and as weird as it sounds i fell for a band geek ... and so it was interesting and yeah we wern't dating but we did like each other ... so i asked him to be my valentine (SP) and wow lo and behold he says yes so eeek and next week the week after valentines(SP) day and he takes me to a dark side of the school that we played at and he kissed me and i was very very happy to say the least and we wern't rely going out or anything ... but yeah and then the last concert of that year in ajs and we didn't rely break up because we wern't rely togethor ... but i didn't talk to him since ...and so i wen't to the zoo today and another school was there so i was wondering who they were and if i knew them ... it was elderado the rival and the school that my ex goes to so i sudden't burst into a cussing fit every cuss word imaginable came out of my mouth and i saw him and i am all FUCK FUCK FUCK and all so yeah you know i hate this kid so much ... i never ever ever wanted to see him again i have moved on and i would hope so has he ... but you never know ...
megan :evil: :cry: :( :!: :?: :x :shock:
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| ::big smile:: |
| 04.02.04 (7:56 pm) [edit] |
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ok i just found out that people actual read my thing wow and considering my motives for making this thing were um al little ... different lol i feel speical 8)
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| bad day |
| 04.02.04 (7:47 pm) [edit] |
today was a day that i want to forget now and forever ... it was "bad" and i hope i did the right thing ...
:cry:
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| day day |
| 03.30.04 (3:29 pm) [edit] |
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:x today i didn't do anything to stupid lol lol to being the key word lol j/k pens taste good lol and the new guy is playing in the back ground lol that is a very good movie lol i am in my twinkie pj's and an afi shirt lol so... :)
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| lalalalalalalalala amusement with smileys |
| 03.29.04 (4:14 pm) [edit] |
:evil: ok i am not a FU*K!NG S!UT i am not i am not i am not !!!!!i i act like one i have FU*K!NG reason :!: i am getting quite angered by these FU*K!NG statements and actions and as i have said before :: this is not central and i am not a hooker: ok so my explination of these smileys
how to win a guy my steps
:) smile innocently
:D when they talk to you smile big but not huge
:( if they say they have to go frown
:wink: but when they say they will be back you wink
:cry: when (if you talk on the phone say i miss you softly
:roll: roll your eyes if they say something stupid and then laugh :D
:oops: blush if you say something stupid
:evil: get mad if someone trys to steal them
:twisted: and then plot the BEEPS demise
:P stick your toung out a little if they say something mean and then show them you middle finger
:shock: you will look like this if you find out they have been cheating
kiss them lightly
...
i am amused lol
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| my random rambeling |
| 03.28.04 (6:48 pm) [edit] |
i am back ... trying to help trish with her lj ... 8) spiffy lol so yeah my day consistde of getting an lustful eye brow rise from my 4 home down neighbor whom looks like he is in college or just out lol :D i was very pleased lol so i have reasons for giving him an eye brow raise back lol smashing pumpkins are a rely good band i wish that they would have come out with another cd ... and i "almost" got raped bye for now
(great ending lol but true)
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| hahahahahahaha |
| 03.28.04 (12:10 pm) [edit] |
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ok welcome to my insanity lol j/k so yeah i may not update often but i am still here lol i am new so bear with me ... lol :twisted:
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